Because of You
by Toriya Izumi
Summary: [From Xillia 2 Bad End] At that day, Milla lost her everything. She lost her comrades, she was betrayed, and she lost the most important thing in her life, Jude. As she drowns herself in grief, what path would she choose later? Was it of eternally deluding herself or was it of seeking revenge? Warning: Character Death, a lot of it and spoiler of the Xillia 2
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Okay, this might be a short Multi-chapter story but who know? I have a tendency to miscalculate the count of chapter so I won't hold onto it too much. Anyway, back to the story, Milla is the focus of this story (and the only one to get POV except the 3rd Person POV).

It will be boring to tell you the detail of the story now so just get on to the story and **please review me if you want to~ oh and if you thought this will be romantic and light like the Lost Treasure or my other story because of the title, you are gravely mistaken.**

**# I altered the Bad Ending from Xillia 2 slightly so Milla and Muzét will remain alive**

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**Milla POV**

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I felt as if my life was being sucked away from me when I saw the aftermath of what had happened from the side of the Spirit World. I rushed to Jude's side that now had drenched in the pure scarlet liquid I knew as blood. He looked like he was in pain but he didn't move at all.

"JUDE!" I called him as I sat down in front of him from the side of the Spirit World. I reached out to him just to find my hand go through him completely.

Not far from my place I heard Muzét scream Gaius' name in horror, it might be that he was in the same state as Jude right now. The thought of Muzét and Gaius was instantly pushed away to the back of my mind when I realized that I needed to save Jude.

I forced myself to materialize in the Human World but only managed to form a see-through existence. The Mana in the Human World was in a critical condition so it didn't do what I bid. At least it was enough to channel some of my power and touch Jude.

"Jude, hang in there!" I shouted with all my might as I placed my hands on Jude's body trying to gather my Mana and heal him.

As if hearing my calling I heard Jude quietly said, "M…i…lla…" he called so weakly it was weaker than a whisper. If I wasn't a spirit or that close to him then I wouldn't be able to hear his voice calling me.

Jude voice diverted my attention from my attempt on gathering Mana and I instantly said, "Jude, don't talk yet! You should store your energy!" I said as I once again tried to gather Mana and let it flow inside Jude. My head pounded painfully but I couldn't think of anything to help Jude except giving him my Mana and all the Mana I could find.

"M… i… lla… I… want… to… see… you…" Jude said weakly as his gaze landed nowhere.

I tried to focus my mind on gathering Mana as Jude said that to no avail. Healing Artes never was my forte to begin with and I relied on Undine for that. I knew that Jude couldn't see me and that was what hurted me the most. I yearned for Jude as strong as he yearned for me… I wanted to see him safe… I didn't want him to die… Jude…

Jude… why was this happening? Everything was okay up until now… why? Why is this happening… someone please tell me… what did we do wrong? Why everyone… why Jude… why must they die and leave me behind?

"I wanted to see you safe! Please don't die… don't die Jude… don't leave me alone… you promised me… you promised me that we will be together forever…" I said as I hugged his bloodied body trying to keep his soul intact somehow.

I felt something cold dripping down from my face and I knew perfectly what it was. I knew I was crying of what was happening to Jude. I wanted to save him… I wanted to… yet I didn't have enough power to do that. I couldn't save him…

"Undine… Sylph… Efreet… Gnome… Origin… I don't care even if it was you Chronos… please… save Jude… save him… I beg you… I don't want to be apart from him… please… save Jude…" I begged to no one as I wept over Jude who was still barely breathing. His breathing was so weak I couldn't even feel his chest rising anymore.

It was then that I felt a soft hand touching my face and erase my tears, though instead I had a bloodstain on my face. I instantly looked up to see Jude had his empty eyes on me while saying, "Milla… don't… cry… smile… Milla…" he said softly as he moved his scarlet hand to clear the tears that won't stop even if they were erased.

"Jude… hang in there… I will call some help… you will live… I will save you so… don't die… I beg you Origin… please don't take him away from me…" I said as I tried to call all the lesser spirits that I could. I cried at how their amount weren't enough to save Jude. I didn't want to lose him…

Jude placed his hands tenderly on my cheeks as he said, "Milla… I… since we met… at Laforte… I always… and will… always… always… love you…"

"I too… I love you so much as well Jude… that's why don't leave me alone… I can't do anything without you by my side Jude… I don't know what I should do without you Jude… please… I love you so much Jude… you promised me to finish your research and that we would marry… so, don't die… don't die… I beg you… someone… save Jude…" I said as I hugged him tightly to keep anything from sucking his soul even when I knew it was futile.

I felt a weak yet gentle touch on my cheek once more and I placed both of my hands over it as I cried. Jude then softly said, "Milla… smile… don't cry… I'm glad… that I… met you… that day… and… sorry… I think I can't… fulfill that…" Jude coughed blood as he said that and I instantly panicked. I tried to call the Four inside my head but they didn't answer me.

I said a few words desperately to prevent Jude from talking anymore. How he talked right now sounded like he would cross over from his side. He tried to look at me as he said, "I… love… yo-" but before Jude managed to finish his sentence, I saw something go straight from my transparent body and stabbing Jude in the heart.

Jude eyes opened for a split second before it closed almost immediately, his hands completely slipped down from mine, and his head faced his side. The pool of blood below him only grew larger and redder, it changed my view into bright red. My feeling mixed into one that I didn't know what I had been feeling right now. Seeing how Jude looked right now I only managed to shout.

"JUUUUUUUUDEEEEEEEEE!"

My hands trembled when I reached to touch Jude's cheek. My eyes were wide from the shock and only two words came to my mind at that time.

Jude died.

Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died. Jude died.

I don't know how many times those words repeated inside my mind as I placed my hands on Jude's –now cold- cheek. I placed my face on his chest before crying my heart out that I didn't think about anything but him. No… Jude… no…

I only got reminded of our condition when I saw that Jude's body was being moved from its original place. I frantically reached for it but find myself being overwhelmed by a power that felt similar to me. It was the aura of Chronos, though slightly distorted from the Lord of Time's Mana sign. It reminded of how I was so powerless right now.

Jude's body was thrown into the sea and then whoever it was who did it walked away from the shore. I ran with all my might that I didn't care about my surroundings. Without thinking twice, I jumped from the shore and dove below to reach Jude's body.

Everything around me was dark as I fell deeper into the sea. I looked around blindly for Jude as I drowned deeper… darker… like how my feeling slowly became numb. I didn't sense the water around me and it was as if I was floating around in the air.

'_Jude…_' I called his name inside my heart. The sea was a wide place and it wouldn't be easy for me to find Jude. But Jude was in there and I had to find him.

I bitted my lips, I called Undine name inside my heart and through the darkness of the sea she materialized a ghost-like form in front of me. I knew she knew what had happened and how desperate I called the Four or anyone to save Jude. But no one come at all and Jude… he…

"Milla… forgive us…" she said softly in apologetic tone.

I looked away sharply. It was too late for her to say sorry. Jude was gone now, I couldn't save him. If only I had more power then it wouldn't had come to this. I still answered Undine by saying, "I can't forgive yet…, but I will, sooner or later… Undine lent me your power, I need to find Jude," I said with a cold tone I just realized that I used.

Undine looked at me with downcast eyes before saying, "Jude's body… or Jude's soul… which one did you refer to Milla?" Undine asked with a slightly gloomy tone.

I looked away sharply, knowing perfectly what she meant. Right now Jude had split into two parts and those were his body and soul. I knew his soul already flew to Land of Canaan and after that, he would no longer be the Jude I knew of. Knowing that made me tear up a bit, I couldn't see him again…

"His body…" I answered softly with tears around my eyes. Undine might have not seen that I was crying since we were deep inside the water.

Undine bowed to me slightly before disappearing, maybe doing what I told her to do. My body still drowned deeper into the dark, deep, cold sea but I let it be. Right now, the darkness of the sea comforted me in a weird way that I didn't understand.

Without Jude by my side, I didn't know what to do. Without Jude existing in the Elympios, my desire to protect them slowly diminished. The reason of Jude's dead was the people of Elympios. He was killed because he desired to protect the people of Elympios. And that person who killed him… who?

As I tried to remember what I had forgot, Undine appeared in front of me with Jude inside a see-through crystal, and was carefully placed in it so he looked like he was sleeping. Before I could say anything Undine, with a soft tone that sounded like she was grieving, said, "Milla… let's bring him to the Spirit World. If you desired it, you could keep him in there."

I blinked a few time to her with a brief realization on what she was talking about. I thought of it for a moment before nodding my head briefly and touched the surface of the crystal, stroking Jude's face from the outside of it. As I gazed at Jude's peaceful sleeping face I softly answered, "Yeah, we should… Undine, if my sister… Muzét also need help with Gaius, then do so even before I asked you."

Undine nodded and in an instant, my surroundings changed into one of the Spirit World, more precisely my realm. Undine was nowhere to be seen and I didn't see the other as well. But that kind of thought only passed without further thinking.

What I was thinking about was how Jude who was now sleeping inside the crystal was in front of me. I laid him on the ground and slightly used my power so it would levitate. I cried as I saw him sleeping in front of me and then I fell the ground on my knees.

"Jude…" I called as I cried for him.

I miss you… please wake up soon…


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

Okay this is the next chapter for this story. Yes, I'm not kidding that I will kill even more character. If you could read Indonesian and read my story for Vocaloid (or you somehow could), I actually did a lot of killing in there. I don't know how this story will develop from now on except a few main things that are already in my head, as well as the list of who will be the victim. Maybe you will manage to figure out few of it if you listened on how I hated few characters from Xillia 2. **Anyway, if you want to please review this story, okay? #wink**

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**Milla POV**

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When I opened my eyes, I saw Jude in front of me with a smile he always had everytime we met. He was a little bit further away but I could clearly hear how he called me, "Milla…" in a gentle tone I always love about him.

I felt myself tearing up and have this urge to hug him and said how I love him deeply. I ran to his direction as fast as my feet could take me. I was just a few feet away from Jude who smiled at me when something pierced through his body and blood trickled from the tips of it.

I watched in horror when I heard Jude said, "Milla… I love… you…" with weak voice that slowly diminishing as his smile disappeared from his face. His body fell limp on the ground as the pool of blood surrounding him grow bigger by each second that passed us.

I placed both of my hands on the side of my head. And then I dropped on the ground knees first in front of what I used to know as Jude when the world swirled. Tears started to block my vision and it streamed down from my face without control.

No… Jude… it's a lie… it must be a lie… there is no way… no way…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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I woke up with cold sweats and I looked around my surrounding. I was in my realm and more precisely in a house that I created for me to rest. I glanced around for Jude and I ran to the basement direction while slamming some door in the process.

My heartbeat slowly becomes lighter as I saw how Jude is sleeping inside the crystal peacefully. A smile slowly appeared on my face as I placed my face close to the surface of the crystal. Jude is here… he is here right by my side… he is just sleeping… he is not dead… Jude is like this because of him. Everything is his fault…

But who is that man? Why did he do this all? Why did he put Jude in a deep sleep? When will Jude open his eyes? I miss him… I miss his smile… I miss his voice when he says he loves me… I miss his tenderness… I miss how our fingers linked with each other… I want to see his eyes…

"Jude… Jude… Jude… please wake up soon… I will wait for you forever… forever… I love you… death won't separate us, right? You promised me that, right?" I softly whispered as I traced the line of the crystal and I cried soundlessly when I remembered the memories we shared together, every place we went to together, every second we spent together. Even the time when you promised me… the vow we shared… everything… everything…

Suddenly I felt a presence behind me and I became alert instantly as I wiped out my tears. I kept alert at least until I realized who that was. With a serious tone I asked, "What's wrong, Sylph?" with a slight concern as well since I knew that Sylph was concerned.

Sylph floated so he become in front of me. He looked at Jude and then to me as he said, "What do we do from now on?" with a tone that made him sounded like he was lost on what to do.

I glanced to Jude before opening the crystal and took my pendant from him and wore it around my neck once again. I entrusted it to Jude for a keepsake one year ago but I wanted to keep it close since Jude won't need it when he is sleeping, right?

I shook my head a little bit as I looked to Jude when answering, "I don't know as well… all I can manage to think of is protecting the newborn spirits and provide humans the time so they could amend their mistake… that is my promise to Jude and I will keep it until he wakes up."

There is a brief silence and then I felt the presence of Gnome who then said, "So you will wait for him forever? Will we protect humans forever? Even after all that happened?"

I let out a deep breath. Through tiny little pieces of my memory, I remembered that something happened and I, well, we, were betrayed by that man. But for what purpose and why he did that or how we assembled together in the first place… I can't remember. I don't want to remember. Because… right now Jude is sleeping in front of me… he's alive… he is just gone into a deep sleep… he isn't dead…

"I don't know… without Jude supporting my choice, I can't decide… I couldn't think of anything… I… I…" I said as my palms curled up into a fist. I thought I would be okay alone before. But after I met Jude, I couldn't stand being alone anymore...

The silence hung in the air between us until I turned around to face them. They looked like they wanted to say something but contemplating on what to do. Then, it was Efreet who appeared in front of me while saying, "Milla… soon there will be the birth time. We need to go back to the surface…"

I could see that he had the same face as Sylph and Gnome but he is being considerate by directing my energy to the newborn spirit. That's all I can do for the time being.

"I understand and well, where are Undine and Muzét?" I asked as I looked around my surrounding. I created the basement just for Jude and it looked like a cave made of pure ice, though it was just an illusion.

Sylph was the one who answered me by saying, "They are still in Maxbard… looking for Gaius…" Sylph answered my question quite hesitantly as if he didn't want to say it.

I acknowledged his answer since I knew that Gaius is there as well. I wanted to help my sister but I already sent Undine and, moreover, I already had another job to think of.

I stroked Jude's slightly warm cheek before kissing it as I whispered, "Sweet dreams Jude… I'm going to be away for a bit, but I will be back as soon as possible after I'm over with my job, okay? I'll tell you a lot later," I whispered to Jude, silently vowing to never leave his side anymore. We will be together forever.

I could sense that Efreet, Gnome, and Sylph gave me a difficult to interpret expression. I looked to them since I was curious why they put on that kind of expressions. I decided to let it pass since if the Four didn't want to talk about it, then I have no right to pry on it as well. After all, the reason why I got to go on a journey with Jude was thanks to them…

Jude… I wonder when you will wake up… I promised to wait for you forever, but how long is this 'forever' going to last…? But, you will wake up again, right? And after that, you will call my name again, right? You will say that you love me again, right?

I nodded to myself as I happily waiting for that time to come. Gnome, Sylph, and Efreet still talked between each other with a low voice though I didn't intend to pry on their affair anyway. But since we have another important job to do, I quickly said, "I won't try to listen if you don't wish me to, everyone… and Efreet, you said that the birth time will happen soon yet you started whispering like that. I'll leave all of you behind, you know," I said as I placed a hand on my hip with a small smile on my face.

Sylph immediately stood straight and so did Efreet when they both heard my words. Gnome looked like he was on a panic attack and it was funny.

I stifled a laugh at how they acted weird today and said, "Come on we have job to do now… I also need to go to the Land of Canaan sooner or later as well… after all it's been a year but I never got to meet Origin…" I said with a light tone though I lowered my voice about the last part.

It was something that I learned from the Four that, as Maxwell, I had to greet the other two Original Spirits, Chronos and Origin. I thought I had met Chronos but I can't be so sure about it… it was as if there is a deep fog inside my memory that I can't remember recent events and it made me feet that there was something wrong. I believed I had met Chronos though in a not so favorable chance. But how come I forgot about it… could it be that… no, no, she had no power to take memories away, she could only record.

I realized that I went into a deep thought again and that the others are eyeing me with concern. I shook my head slightly before saying, "Let's go…" I said before walking past the Four though Undine isn't present right now.

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**3****rd**** Person POV**

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Milla placed her hands on the spirit that was being birthed as she murmured gentle words to it, like a mother to her child. The other Great Spirit who were used to watch her activity couldn't help but felt that it was out of place considering the situation. They couldn't remember the detail of the incident that had happened to them except the fact that their companion is no more.

Sylph floated closer to Efreet as he said, "Is it just me or did you realized that Milla always said that Jude is 'sleeping' and not 'dead'?" he asked with a little skeptic tone though it was obvious that he was worried sick about the Lord of Spirits who sat just thirty feet away from them.

Efreet lowered his voice since he was concerned as well before saying, "I realized it, Sylph. Undine is the expert about this, but even I know that Milla didn't accept Jude's death in reality. Most likely, Muzét will act the same way as well. It is impossible to make Muzét snap out from it and face reality when Milla couldn't, since she is also running away from reality."

Gnome shook his earth globe a little before saying, "It can't be helped that Milla denied Jude's death… Jude is the center of Milla's world right now. We also should take the fact that every single of our friend were slaughtered in front of us. To make it worse, we can't do even just a thing to save them… it must be way worse for Milla who was present the moment it happened…"

Efreet and Sylph contemplated what Gnome had said. They looked at Milla who had a smile on her face although it was obvious that she was devastated. She couldn't accept the death of her beloved and decided to lie to herself that Jude was still alive just so she could go on with life. Since he had been with her for her entire life, the Great Spirit couldn't help but be saddened at how Milla forced herself to smile.

It was when Undine decided to show up around the other Great Spirits circle. She looked around the scenery and saw how Milla was smiling and her face turned grim before saying, "Is Milla okay?" she asked out of concern though she knew what the answer was already.

The other only shook their heads lightly, a sign that it was hopeless. Undine let out a breath before saying, "It's a stupid question, I know… but Muzét's condition is the same, I guess… she denied Gaius's death and now placed his body under crystal slumber. For now, we can sit tight but the problem starts from here on."

"What do you mean, Undine?" Sylph asked although he had a gist of it. He didn't want to think of the worst for now. Their condition right now was worse enough for them.

Efreet shook his head, understanding what Undine wanted to say, before saying, "We have no need to worry about the Elympios's safety since Milla still holds her promise with Jude close to her heart and Muzét won't go on a rampage since Gaius wished for the two worlds to live in harmony. I can't say the same for the one who killed Jude and Gaius and also our comrades."

"You mean… either Milla, Muzét or both of them… will seek revenge to the killer? Milla is a good person, yet will she still go?" Gnome said with a scared tone.

Sylph looked to Milla's direction and he saw how Milla still reacted normally despite the circumstances right now. He admitted it was quite scary to see Milla's anger set on lose, when he remembered one thing. He then said, "What of Chronos? Might he try to seek Milla or Muzét as his accomplice? Will it be okay for us to sit idly like this when that time come? That annoying Lord of Time doesn't really know how to stop or understanding other's feeling after all."

The other members of the Four looked down to find the answer. They didn't have the best bond with the Lord of Time and their ideals clashed with each other. But with this incident, Milla might have a change of heart despite the fact she won't harm Elympios or humanity in general.

"We will deal as Milla wishes when the time comes. For now we shouldn't try to touch their heart's wounds. If the worst was to come and Milla's power went out of control, I don't know who could stop her." Undine replied as she looked sadly at Milla and the other mimicked her action.

Well, it couldn't be helped. For them, who lived with Milla ever since she was still a baby, seeing how she was broken right now felt so painful. And they also knew that if Milla went on a rampage or anything like that, Jude was the only one who could stop her. But he was no longer here to do that. Muzét still had Milla to stop her but if Milla couldn't stop herself, then what would they do? They were powerless against both sisters combined after all.

Efreet looked away from the sight of Milla who was calmly protecting the newborn spirit from the harshness of the world. He looked down to the earth before saying, "What can we do to help Milla…" he whispered as he tried to keep his ground together.

Gnome looked down as well before saying, "There is nothing…"

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Okay, now this chapter is over~ it will get darker from here on since I won't even try on having a joke chapter (maybe it will become light once in a time but I won't try to joke about it I promise). So, if you don't want to see me getting all red then you may read the other story~ well, simple quiz for all my reader. **This story is a loose sequel of two of my story, which story are they?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

It's the next chapter of fuuuuuuun~ yeah, like it would happen. I'm going to solve a few unsolved thing first as it will be the opening for my fingers torture (my fingers through a hell since I'm typing non-stop). Okay, without any further talk, I present you chapter 3~

**Note: Do you already understand now why I use that misleading title? #wink Oh and since I'm that impatient, this is also the Draft version of the story.  
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**Milla POV**

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I was sending the last batch of the newborn spirit when I felt Undine's presence approaching me. I glanced to the back and indeed, Undine is approaching me with the other behind her. I stood up and asked, "How was Muzét's doing? Did you two find Gaius and managed to save him as well?" demanding a report from her.

Undine nodded although I could barely see that nods before she said with a reassuring calm tone, "Right now Muzét is sleeping in her own room. The search is long and tedious one so her fatigue takes its toll on her. We managed to secure Gaius and he is now sleeping in the basement different from Jude."

I placed a hands of my chest as I gripped my and Jude's… no, our pendant. It was reassuring to hear that we managed to save an important person of my sister. With this, there was nothing for me to do anymore except waiting and staying alive… and maybe protecting the live of human and spirit…

I only figured those three things but I felt that there was this nagging feeling inside my heart, as if I was forgetting something. And it made me felt that this kind of situation was wrong. I brushed it off obviously and then looked at the Four before saying, "Very well. Anyway, I want you all except Undine to look for the clue for Jude's research and also any of his books. It's the least I can do to help his research… I'm sure Jude will approve it. I will stay on guard in the Spirit World as Undine healed the two and maybe Muzét as well."

Sylph quickly snorted and voiced his disapproval by saying, "I'm not going anywhere and is every one of us. We'll stay by your side and not leave that place anytime soon even when you want us to disappear, Milla," with both of his hands crossed in front of his chest.

I sighed after hearing that before saying, "I can't force you all if you don't want to. Then I will be the one who look for it. Take care of the Spirit World in my stead in the mean time, I won't take long," I replied as I turned on my heels and readied myself to open a portal to the human world.

"W-wait, Milla you shouldn't do reckless thing like that!" Efreet said as he had his hands on my shoulders. It was obvious that he wanted to stop me.

"You guys don't want to look for Jude's research material… yet you don't let me do it myself… I only want to help Jude yet why you all tried to stop me?" I said as my fist curled up as I shrugged his hands off my shoulders. I'm not used to get mad at the Four since they are my close friend and close enough to be my family. But this one time, I didn't intend on backing down.

I could practically see Gnome become sad as he said, "It's not our intention…" he said with a low volume like he was regretting.

"And then what is your intention? My intention is clear. I want to be of power to Jude. We promised each other… that we will create a world where human and spirits co-exist together in harmony. I'm not going to change that anytime soon! I promised Jude… we promised… we promised him… yet why you all don't understand?" I asked as I half scolded them all. I don't know why but I feel frustrated over this. I felt tears welling up on my eyes as well as I tried to question why even they betrayed me.

"Well, that's…" Sylph said as he sounded like he wanted to explain their reason but couldn't find the right word. He looked to the side with a sad face that only made me mad this time.

"Milla… it is not safe for us to get out from this realm just yet. We didn't know whether the person who attacked us will attack us again or not if he met us. That person is capable of fending off every one of us so we believe we shouldn't do anything like venturing out just yet since we might just pass by that person and… we barely escape death by losing a portion of our memory, but what about later? We couldn't gamble on anything we couldn't hope to win, my dear," Undine explained with a calm tone it touched my nerves.

My curled up fist become loose when I heard Undine's explanation. It is a sound opinion and is true depending on the situation. If even I went into sleep then what will happen to mine and Jude's dreamed world? Now that Jude is still sleeping, there is no one but me to continue his job. And with that person outside, I need to be even more careful than now since he might just hunt me down this very second. He must know that I'm a spirit and all… so he must know that I'm still alive somewhere.

I nodded as I understand what they wished since I knew that they only wished for my safety. It is really frustrating but the fact that I was beaten is true. If I wanted to help Jude then I need to eliminate that person first. But what kind of power that managed to make even me, the Lord of Spirit, couldn't lay a finger on that person? Just what the hell happened? Should I really kill that person just for my safety?

It was then I reminded about what I just thought.

"Kill… I?" I mumbled my own thought in disbelief. I couldn't believe on what I just thought of.

Eliminating that person… then it meant I must kill that person… Jude won't like it… he hates killing and he hates war… we never killed person before. Will Jude approve of it if I do that for him… for everyone? But was it for myself?

When I opened my eyes, there is only white in front of me and I was facing Jude. He was on the floor with the pool of blood below him slowly growing bigger and bigger. I was shocked very much on this scenery and screamed as tears slowly pouring down from my eyes. It is a lie… there is no way Jude will die… he promised me… he promised me…

"No… no…" I tried to cover my ears, my eyes, hoping that I couldn't see this scenery right now. This is a lie… there is no way it would be true… I saved Jude… Jude is just sleeping… he is alive…

To pour salt into my freshly open wound, I heard a stabbing voice and I quickly opened my eyes. There is him in front of me, stabbing Jude like it was natural. I couldn't see who is it but he is the one who did everything. He is the one who destroyed the peaceful day I protected so much. It was because of him… everything is because of him… I want to kill him…

The Four voices calling me sounded like a buzz that I can't comprehend of. My legs gave up on being my support as the thought swirled up like a nightmare. That person killed everyone… I want to kill him… I want to kill him… I want to… but Jude won't do that… Jude won't like it… if Jude knows then he will hate me… I don't want that… yet I can't forgive that person… My head hurts… it felt like it was splitting up… Jude… please save me…

I don't want to kill… Jude… what should I do… I don't want to be hated by you…

My consciousness slowly slipping down from my fingertips as my thought swirled around uncontrollably. And when I didn't realize, I couldn't see anything as everything went dark.

_I must… kill him…_

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**3****rd**** Person POV**

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"Milla!" the Four shouted almost in synch when they saw Milla collapsed in front of their eyes. They all managed to get a grip of Milla's body as they all could see clearly how Milla is suffering in front of their eyes.

Her breathing is rapid as she clutched her chest tightly. They could hear she mumbled something though couldn't make any sense out of it. Gnome said in panic, "We need to bring her back… Milla must rest or she will crumble down! Milla, hang in there!"

"Yeah, that's the best course of action right now. Sylph you are the fastest from all of us, bring Milla into safety as soon as you can," Efreet said as he said a command to Sylph who supported Milla's body alongside Undine.

"There is no need to tell me that twice. Get back from her, Undine!" Sylph said half-shouted to Undine so the Greater Spirit of Water would back off.

Undine quickly let go of her hands from Milla and Sylph carried Milla (using Wind Artes of course) and they disappeared in a blink of eyes. There is no way he could bear seeing Milla suffer in front of him. Milla is his friend, his family. Even at the time they lied to her once she always accepted them with open arms, forgiving them despite all that. Not in the hell he would let his dear Milla crumbled in front of him.

The Three Great Spirits let out a relieved sigh and looked at each other. The silence between them is broken by Undine who said, "I hate to say this but… we can't just sit idly with the fact that our killer is out there. I don't want to see Milla crumbled down like that anymore!" with anger deep in her tone and her fist clenched up tightly to contain her anger.

"So you suggest us to kill that person instead of Milla herself? What chance do we have since we also weakened from that sudden leapt? It's good enough that we escaped with only our memories jumbled. Believe me this once, I want to kill that man very much as well," Efreet replied with pure anger that his fire felt cold although it was blazing brightly.

"That person hurt our precious comrade… that person hurt our precious Milla… I believe those were enough reason to hunt down that man until his dying breath… except that we had no power to oppose him when the time come like what Efreet had said," Gnome said with downcast eyes though it had the glint of anger.

They all become quiet once more when Undine then says, "We shouldn't talk about it here. Right now Milla's safety is our top priority. What we'll do after that come later," Undine said with a serious expression to Gnome and Efreet.

Gnome and Efreet nodded and voiced an approval. They then flew to Milla's place as fast as they could. They didn't notice the watchful gaze of another Great Spirit which had been watching them since the start from the sideline. Its wings glows brightly and its eyes sharpened at the sight.

"I shall tell Chronos about this turn of events…"

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Yes my dear reader, Milla was freaking out about this whole ordeal. I don't know did they killed anyone from Exodus but I thought of it as different case considering the situation but I never think that Milla actually wished to kill (or murder) anyone consciously. If you just noticed, the Four have a big role as well in here, being Milla's remaining mental support and all. **Anyway since you just read the whole author note why don't you give me some review as well? Oh and yeah, you had brought yourself a one-way ticket to hell, proceed on your own conscience.  
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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.**

So this is the 4th chapter of this story. Well, let's review some things from the start until now. I picked the story from the Bad Ending (or which I dubbed as the Most Retard Ending Ever) but with Milla and Muzét somehow still alive. They both denied Jude's and Gaius' death respectively and the Four isn't the most happy about the turns of event. One thing for sure, they all have deep hatred to the killer (that we all know to be Ludger). Maybe you knew which Great Spirit who overheard the conversation but whoever it is; that Great Spirit is Chronos ally.

**Anyway, should I change the rating into M or something? I didn't think that talking about killing (and possible slaughter) is appropriate in T rating.**

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**3****rd**** Person POV**

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Sylph placed Milla on her bed as he brushed off Milla's sweat. He was hurt seeing how Milla had this rapid breathing and looked like she was through a pain. If he could he wanted to cleanse Milla's nightmare but the whole reality is a nightmare for her. Just what can he do then? Erasing the reality isn't something that could be done.

He then felt the other three coming inside the room. He turned around and saw Efreet, Gnome, and also Undine who had a grim expression and avoiding the gaze of each other. He knew that they were talking about something crucial and most likely is about their course of action.

He admitted that he didn't want to kill but he couldn't let Milla suffer anymore. If it is the best, then he will do it even if it cost him a life or two. But then, who will be by Milla's side when they undergo rebirth? Just thinking that Milla will be alone again made his chest hurt. That's the last thing he wanted Milla undergo, the loneliness…

"Sylph can you somehow find any information about the killer?" Undine asked with a serious tone that was cold like ice she rarely used.

Sylph looked at Undine in disbelief before saying, "Did you plan to settle a score with that person? You said it yourself that it is insane and just simply asking for your death!" Sylph refused with his own words.

"No, we didn't intend to settle a score or something… yet. We just need to know who had done it and keep a close watch on him. Since that person is a human with big power, we couldn't just watch it brings the death of the people in Elympios. Milla certainly won't like that…" Efreet replied with a calm tone and with a dismissive attitude that it was actually scary.

"It's better than not knowing what we are up with. We are also worried about any movement from Land of Canaan. Chronos is the last thing we want to handle when Milla is still this fragile," Gnome seconded Efreet's opinion as he said it with serious tone he also rarely used.

Sylph nodded understanding what the other intended to do. But he said, "But the problem is since we leaped from human world to spirit world in hurry, we lost a part of our memory. How I will look for the culprit of this absurdness without any lead? I'm not up on going to Maxbard again just for that because I am as weak as everyone now."

Of course Sylph didn't mind on going alone since he is the bringer of information, The Greater Spirit of Wind and the wind hear everything. But without any lead for what he should look for, he won't get anywhere despite his ability at gathering intelligence. After all he didn't gather what he knew from _nothingness_.

Undine looked at Milla who was clearly suffering from something and said, "Couldn't we just ask that girl? I'm sure she recorded everything even when Milla didn't remember," with soft whispery tone as she tried to ease the tension in the air. After what happened in 24 hour, the last thing she wanted to do is making Milla wake up though it would be for the best if she wakes up since that would mean her nightmare would end.

"That girl is in Land of Canaan and we couldn't afford to call her. She only obeys Milla and Jude and will only come when either called her. And moreover since Jude is dead, doesn't she become weak? I'm sure Milla remember her only barely. In worst case, she is as good as dead as well," Efreet said with a serious tone as he looked at the Greater Spirit of Water for her suggestion.

"So asking Recorder is crossed. Any of you had any prediction on from where this abominable man comes from?" Sylph said with a hand on his chin, thinking for a way out of their problem. He wished that the culprit could just die and never be reborn again.

The other looked at each other with clear confusion on their faces. Gnome moved to Milla's side before saying, "I'm sure it isn't from Rieze Maxia we knew that there were no people stronger than Gaius in term of pure strength there. More likely that man is from Elympios… talk about irony."

The other had a downed look when Gnome literally said the fact they didn't want to accept. Their human companion desired to erase Schism in order to protect the people of Elympios and create a new future for the two nations, yet now, the same people had killed them when the desire wasn't under their reach yet. Efreet looked up and then with grim tone he said, "That man is an anomaly… we had seen that a lot of people in Elympios weren't like that. But considering that he is from Elympios, why we didn't destroy any Spyrix he used since the start? I'm sure Milla will do the same considering that man didn't have any kind of disease."

Yes, they could easily destroy Spyrix whatever it made off but if it wasn't the source of his power then how they could fight him? It was as clear as the day that they lacked the firepower against their mysterious enemy.

Sylph scratched his head, messing up with his hair a little, clearly frustrated of their condition. He then looked at Milla who was breathing heavily in her sleep before saying, "Let's think about it later. Did any of you could stop Milla from suffering now?"

The other Greater Spirit then had their eyes on a certain Greater Spirit of Water who nodded, knowing what they wanted to ask of her. She then floated closer to the child they had raise together and with a gentle yet firm tone she said, "Let me try…"

She placed a hand over Milla's eyes before focusing her Mana to heal Milla. At first it worked but then, Undine suddenly thrown aback and landed on Efreet who spontaneously catch her. Sylph, Gnome, and Efreet then exclaimed in synch saying, "Undine, what happened?"

Undine steadied herself on the ground taking a few deep breaths in process. She looked at Milla who remained suffering before saying, "I… I don't know either… I tried to see what happened as I heal her nightmare, but a big power blocked me from her and then… maybe I was thrown out by that power," as she adjusted herself though still a little bit dizzy from the reaction.

"A big power?" Gnome asked with curious tone

"Yes, it was different from Milla's Mana… yet it felt strangely familiar and similar. I… I don't know but it might just some kind of her inner power… and I think I heard a song coming from that power… that song is weirdly nostalgic," Undine explained as she touched her pounding head, thanks to the burst from before.

"What do you mean by song?" Efreet asked curiously as he heard about 'song'. Somehow he knew what Undine was talking about but at the same time he didn't understand either.

Undine was about to explain when the Four sensed someone coming closer. They were alarmed until the intruder revealed herself, it was Muzét. Muzét floated inside the room and asked in weak tone, "Where is Milla?"

Sylph answered that by moving himself away from Milla while saying, "She is here… sleeping but we will be thankful if you could wake her up," which the other copied his gesture.

Muzét was surprised to see Milla who was breathing heavily and her face is bright red as if she had fever. Only one glance made Muzét knew that her sister is suffering right now. She quickly ran (read: fly) to her side and crouched down beside her sleeping body.

"Who did this to my precious little sister? Spill it the Four! I will make sure that person taste hell with my own hands!" Muzét said as she took Milla's hand with her own, gripping it tightly.

The Four flinched at the threat and Gnome who managed to find his voice first said, "We don't know… she suddenly collapsed in front of us just like that… most likely it was because of fatigue… we hope."

"And not any of you managed to ease Milla's pain. Okay, great so now get out! I'll handle this from now on or I will make you get out!" Muzét said literally rolling her eyes in disgust with sharp eyes.

The Four flinched and they looked at each other with hesitation clear in their eyes. They didn't want to leave Milla but Muzét threat sounded dangerous so they slowly retreated and leave the room.

Muzét sighed before placing a hand over Milla's forehead. She could feel that her sister gained more heat than before and that made her suffer. She ran her fingers through Milla's hair and whispered, "I'm here Milla… there is no need for you to suffer… I will bear it with you so please wake up…"

Muzét repeated the words a few times until Milla's breathing slowly became calm and her heat went down. After a certain amount of time, Muzét could see that Milla's eyelids slowly opened and she gently said, "Good morning Milla…"

Milla looked to her side before saying, "Muzét…"

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**Milla POV**

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I felt my head was pounding repeatedly as I floated around the darkness of my mind. The thought of killing repeated inside my mind like a nightmare. I want to kill him. I want to kill him badly. But I can't do that… I was powerless… I don't have enough power to kill him.

It was when I heard another voice come inside my head. It was a foreign yet nostalgic voice that I can't help but listen to what it says.

'_Open your eyes… accept me…_' the voice said with a calm feminine tone that I was convinced that it was a woman who was speaking to me.

"_Who are you?_" I asked as I looked around, trying to see the owner of the voice.

There is a slight pause until she replied, '_I am the one who always look out for you,_' with a melodious tone and somehow her voice felt warm like at the time where I was with everyone.

"_Looking out… for me?_" I asked curiously, not understanding what she was saying. I tried to make out her appearance in the deep darkness but I couldn't see anyone around me but myself. Just like that place… what I am talking?

'_It is too early for you to see me. My power isn't enough yet…_' she replied as if knowing that I was looking for her through this darkness.

Before I asked further what for me to remember, I felt my head become lighter and I heard Muzét voice echoing inside my head saying, '_I'm here Milla… there is no need for you to suffer… I will bear it with you so please wake up…_' with a gentle voice it soothes my pain for a little bit.

"_Muzét…_" I called from inside my mind as I tried to reach out for my sister. I don't want to be alone… everyone is gone… no one but Jude and Gaius remained… but when they will wake up?

From a place far away from where I was, there is a light. I was attracted by its light that I slowly walked to its direction. As the light started pulling me closer when I approached it, I heard that voice saying, '_We will meet again… my future…_'

I turned around but the light had enveloped me as I come back to my consciousness. I felt my eyelids a little bit heavier than I thought as I opened them. I saw Muzét taking care of me with her hands on the top of my forehead. Her hand felt cool and it was oddly soothing.

Muzét smiled when she saw me recognizing her presence and with a soft sisterly tone she said, "Good morning Milla…"

I looked to my side, sensing that I'm not in any position to do anything reckless. I looked at my older sister worried face before responding, "Muzét…"

"You made me worried Milla…" Muzét said with a soft tone full of concern for my well-being and a grateful smile made its way on her face.

"I'm sorry for that Muzét… I can't think right now," I said as my voice dropped when I reached the last part.

I want to kill that person… I want to kill him so badly, but would Jude approve my revenge? What should I do if Jude knew it? Will Jude hate me after that? I don't want that but… but even so I want to kill that person. It is the first time for me to hate a person this much at the point of killing.

Muzét seems to understand my condition and with a soft reassuring tone she said, "I think it is okay to hate…"

I looked to her direction questioning what she meant when she said, "If you didn't hate after all this… you will gain a heavier weight on your back… I don't want to say this but… I think Jude won't like it as well. I'm sure he didn't want you to smile by force when in fact you are suffering…"

"So do you think I may hate?" I asked with a worried tone.

"Yeah… as I can't help you in anything, I wish that my opinion is of some lead," Muzét said with a gentle tone though her head slowly looking down.

"Sis?" I asked in worried tone. I know that something made her suffer except for being left alone by the person we cared the most. That's why I prompted her to say it.

"Erston promised me… he promised me that he will marry me… he will make me his queen… Erston promised… he promised me…" Muzét said as she had both of her hands covering her face.

I placed a hand on the top of my sister hand, gaining her attention when I looked at my sister. I tried my best to smile when I said, "Jude promised me as well… he promised that he will propose me for real one day… that's why I will wait for him… I will wait for him to wake up. Gaius is the same as well… you should wait for him…" I said as I try to comfort my sister. Yeah, Jude promised me, so… I will wait for him.

"Erston will… come back to me? If I wait for him he will wake up again?" Muzét asked with hopeful tone as she looked at me.

"Yeah… he promised you right? I'm sure he will fulfill his promise with you… Gaius isn't the type to back out from his own words," I said with a soft tone while nodding my head of the premise.

Muzét looked relieved as she nodded for a few times. She then gripped both of my hands tightly and with a kind tone she said, "Yeah… then let's wait for them together Milla… I will never leave you."

"Thank you…" I said with a grateful tone.

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That's it for chapter 4~ Muzét had appeared and I think the story will finally start from now on. I will appreciate your thought about where I should put this story into.** Anyway, please review!**


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